On eating corn...
Each kernel must be extracted with knife and fork without puncturing. "Popping" a kernel necessitates immediate disposal and procurement of a fresh leg (They don't look like ears to me!).

As the kernels are removed, i line them up on a clean plate (Can't have them adulterated by touching any other food.. YUCK!) in the order in which they are removed. Each row on the plate alternates the direction in which the little 'nub' points, first row always points North (which is why i cannot, nay, WILLNOT eat corn at the NorthPole).

When the extraction process has been completed, the naked core is wrapped in a grape leaves and stored in the garage until it is completely dry.
You can skip that step if you don't smoke the cobs.

The entire plate is then rotated so all the north-pointing kernels now point south! What a hoot! That's the best part of eating corn. They get soooo confused when you do that to them.

Next, i pour a shallow layer of milk on the plate and using a custom made crazy straw, i suck them up one at a time. Make sure when you suck, you clench your teeth. The sounds that they make as they whack your incisors is really funny. Once i laughed so hard, the milk came out my nose!

Make sure if you order corn at a restaurant
that you bring your own straw. The one's at those places are a tad too small and it takes a real long time to finish eating. You also have to suck soo hard that it makes noises and people stare at you like there is something wrong.

Usually the police don't even let you complete the process.