a piece of wood. My first picture upload via "Hello". I am so proud! 

Blogna
OK, so the "Blog this!" thingy works. Now what? I am exhausted!

I need to work on this ugly page. Pea soup green. Ugh! Who the heck makes these templates?

Blogna

Just testing the blog spot "blog This!" option on the google tool bar. Sorry if i ruined your day with this silly site. I started it a while ago to play and never kept it up. Now all i have is time. I am dead. I am communicating from the other side. Didn't know blogging was the one thing you could carry over to hte other side, did you. Know you know.

Poppa

On eating corn...
Each kernel must be extracted with knife and fork without puncturing. "Popping" a kernel necessitates immediate disposal and procurement of a fresh leg (They don't look like ears to me!).

As the kernels are removed, i line them up on a clean plate (Can't have them adulterated by touching any other food.. YUCK!) in the order in which they are removed. Each row on the plate alternates the direction in which the little 'nub' points, first row always points North (which is why i cannot, nay, WILLNOT eat corn at the NorthPole).

When the extraction process has been completed, the naked core is wrapped in a grape leaves and stored in the garage until it is completely dry.
You can skip that step if you don't smoke the cobs.

The entire plate is then rotated so all the north-pointing kernels now point south! What a hoot! That's the best part of eating corn. They get soooo confused when you do that to them.

Next, i pour a shallow layer of milk on the plate and using a custom made crazy straw, i suck them up one at a time. Make sure when you suck, you clench your teeth. The sounds that they make as they whack your incisors is really funny. Once i laughed so hard, the milk came out my nose!

Make sure if you order corn at a restaurant
that you bring your own straw. The one's at those places are a tad too small and it takes a real long time to finish eating. You also have to suck soo hard that it makes noises and people stare at you like there is something wrong.

Usually the police don't even let you complete the process.

I see that a serious drawback of blogging is that a person really needs something to say. The hordes of emails i received over my first entry has placed a bit of pressure on me to continue my success.

I am paralyzed with fear! How can i compete with my self? Can i out-funny me? Could i do that day after day?

Perhaps a new feature will help: Complaint of the day.
Not sure if this will work out. I hope not to sound like a whiner, and there is some risk in making this a depressing place to visit. I'd hate to find myself on the wrong end of a lawsuit over someone who decides to end it all after reading my blog. But i decide to live dangerously and initiate my first complaint.

Vincas! I bought a few a Home Depot since they were touted as drought tolerant, thrived on neglect, and would be beautiful as well. I may have gotten confused since i am also looking for a woman who can serve as designated driver most the time, doesn't mind being left home and who brings a jealous tear to the eye of most Victoria's Secret models. I ended up with this plant since my oneliners were making the check out girl nervous. Stuck a few in the window boxes and threw one in a pot for the office desk.

Fourteen weeks of rain has reduced the ones in the flower boxes to lumps of mold that would probably excite me if i were a mycologist. The one on my desk i managed to knock over and, even though at the time it seemed to be doing well, has gone into shock and decided to end it's life. It now looks like what i can only describe as the plant world's equivalent of Phyllis Diller.

I am now of the electronic generation! Funny, i feel no different.

I hope to try simply to post some random observations, looking a life slightly askant. You may even find some humor here.

Did you know.... the industry standard for measuing DE (Diatomaceous earth) used in swimming pool filters is based on the one pound coffee can? Yup! Even says so on the bag. Now, not being of the ground coffee persuasion (not that there's anything morally wrong with that), i haven't a clue how big a one pound coffee can is. I called 5 different pool companies to see if i could get some reasonable estimate so i could use something radical (like a measuring cup) to dole out this stuff. "Nope!", they say! "Converting to cups is dangerous as it is a very precise measurement and you need to go out and buy a pound of coffee, and make sure its not in one of the metric conversion foil bags."

I have offered to create a conversion chart for sale:
1 pound coffee can = 2 jars of applesause (16 oz)
and get a dial tone.....